Do you remember that time you tripped spectacularly in front of everyone? The heat rising in your cheeks, the burning desire to just disappear? That feeling right there, is a universal emotion called SHAME.This shame isn't just a fleeting blush. It's a cruel voice whispering continuously "you're not good enough," holding us back from love, connection, and living our full potential."Daring Greatly," a masterpiece by Brené Brown offers an antidote to this shame: VULNERABILITY. It's about embracing your imperfections and...
Understand the Origins of Shame
Have you ever avoided asking out your crush because of the fear of rejection? Did you then spend all night replaying the what-if scenes in your head? That’s what shame does! Now! Where does it come from?Here's the thing: humans need connection. We're social butterflies, needing that sense of belonging as much as we need air. Like back in caveman times: Being banished from the tribe meant, well, not surviving very long. That need for connection is so strong, science...
The mindset of “never enough”
Fill in the blank: I want more _______! We’ll take a wild guess here and say your brain’s already screaming: more money, more time, more friends, more clothes…..just more, more, more! Why is that?With all the craziness happening in the world – from pandemics to politics – it's no wonder our stress levels are through the roof. It's like we're all suffering from a collective case of post-traumatic stress disorder aka PTSD. Rather than overcoming the trauma by processing it...
Understand vulnerability
Mention vulnerability, and most people wouldn't exactly call it a superpower. We're conditioned to see it as a weakness, a path to failure. Success and strength seem to be the holy grail, leaving vulnerability out in the cold.But what if we tell you that vulnerability isn't inherently bad? What if it's actually the key to experiencing life's full spectrum? Let's break it down.First, being vulnerable isn't weakness – it's courage. After all, it takes guts to expose ourselves, to put...
Embrace vulnerability
What good is a tightly closed bud – full of potential, but unable to bloom without some exposure? That’s how we humans are. Without embracing vulnerability, we would never reach our true potential. That’s a big statement, we know! Here’s our defense: Think about the most meaningful relationships in your life. Chances are, they involve moments of opening up, sharing your true feelings, and experiencing empathy. Vulnerability allows us to connect with others on a deeper level. This fosters a...
Develop resilience towards shame to embrace vulnerability and yourself
Do you remember the bit about tripping spectacularly in public at the beginning of our journey? And that burning, all-consuming feeling making you want to disappear? That’s the thing about shame: it thrives in secrecy. It's the monster under the bed, growing bigger and scarier the longer we keep it hidden. We bottle it up, fearing judgment and ridicule, but this silence only amplifies its power. So, what do we do? We share it! In fact, you might be surprised...
Shed your masks and be yourself to lead a fulfilling life
Vulnerability – the raw, exposed part of ourselves – often feels like kryptonite. Naturally, it feels easier to just hide it and armor up with carefully constructed facades: perfectionism, cynicism, even numbing ourselves with distractions. Say, while planning a dream vacation, instead of letting yourself savor the excitement, you start worrying about canceled flights or bad weather. This "foreboding joy" is a way to preemptively shield yourself from disappointment, but it also robs you of the present moment. Similarly, perfectionism...
Embrace vulnerability everywhere by moving beyond the shame game
For decades, we've been sold lies: that success is synonymous with perfection and invulnerability. This outdated playbook has shaped countless classrooms and workplaces into arenas of fear and competition. Picture this: people in leadership roles bullying others, criticizing subordinates in front of colleagues, delivering public reprimands, or setting up reward systems that intentionally belittle, shame, or humiliate people. These tactics, while seemingly effective in the short term, sow the seeds of long-term damage.Shame, as we've discussed, is a powerful inhibitor....
Reshape Organizational Culture to Foster Vulnerability
We already know that a workplace where failure is met with public ridicule, or a classroom where wrong answers bring punishment are all too common symptoms of a "shame culture" that stifles growth and connection. But it can be turned around. How?Leaders, from CEOs to teachers to parents, have the power to break this cycle of shame and disengagement; and cultivate a culture of vulnerability. Here's how:People in influential positions often feel pressure to project an image of unwavering competence....
Embracing vulnerability at home
Parenting is perhaps the ultimate test of vulnerability. We're responsible for these tiny humans, expected to have all the answers, and terrified of messing up. Plus, perfect parenting doesn't exist. So, how do we equip our little ones to not just survive, but thrive in this crazy, beautiful mess? By ditching the parenting manual and diving into the real deal: raising brave hearts.We’ve all got those childhood scars – those moments when we felt so ashamed we wanted to disappear....
Chapter 12
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Summary
Shame only isolates, By embracing vulnerability, deeper connections and a richer, more authentic life await those who dare to be seen, truly seen!
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About the Author
Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston, where she holds the Huffington Foundation Endowed Chair at the Graduate College of Social Work. She also holds the position of visiting professor in management at the University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.
Brené has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of six #1 New York Times bestsellers and is the host of two award-winning podcasts, Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead.
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