How We Heal: Uncover Your Power and Set Yourself Free

Summary of 7 key concepts

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Introduction

No one deserves to have their light dimmed by the darkness of trauma. But for those of us born into it, the light was buried under piles of hurt, neglect, and shame. Too young to understand the cruelties of the world, all that registered was an unscratchable itch of deep bewilderment — "Why me? What is wrong with me?" Over time, the psyche learns to wall off such agony, preserving the ability to function by shutting out this wounded child....

Believe that there's no such thing as failure in the journey of healing.

Let's start with a quick Q&A. Do you see healing as a process or an end goal? Do you see your failures as setbacks? What if we told you that starting over doesn't mean you've failed, but that you're human? We tend to look at healing as an end goal, like a trophy at the end of a race that can be achieved and put on show. We think that if we can just solve our issues once and for...

Embrace all the pain and fear and trust the healing process!

Why does facing your innermost pain and fears feel scarier than the initial trauma? Our minds often opt for avoiding difficult emotions rather than delving into the painful muck. But, in the long run, will avoidance guarantee a fulfilling and happy life? Of course not! So, do not ever waver from the path of self-healing, even if it means dealing with painful memories. Recognizing and accepting one's deepest, darkest feelings is what's going to help achieve ultimate peace. Escapism only...

Get rid of your behavior patterns by reinventing yourself and your life's story!

Lina was a typical small-town girl with big-city dreams. But she felt restless and unhappy in her fast-paced city life filled with superficial friendships and work stress. No matter how many mindfulness apps she tried or therapists she saw, she just couldn't find that contentment. On a whim, she returned to her childhood hometown. While flipping through old diaries, Lina was struck by the innocence of her past creative pursuits and dreams. She realized how much she had lost touch...

Embrace gratitude and joy when they arrive!

And so we arrive at Step 4 of this healing journey of ours! During trying times, actively seeking out circumstances to feel joyful is integral to the healing process. So, this last step is all about taking pause to be fully present for those small, ordinary moments that happen each day: the first sip of your morning coffee, the sun kissing your cheeks on an afternoon walk, getting off work, and sinking into your favorite hoodie. These small, ordinary things...

Summary

We are all broken, but that does not mean that we can't lead a happy and successful life. Just take the initiative to start your self-healing journey and one day you will manage to let go of all past mistakes and problems. While self-doubt, fears, and traumas of the past will try to arrest your growth, keep on moving ahead and start over as many times as you can. Addressing the lonely inner child and rewriting your life's story in a...

Key concepts in How We Heal: Uncover Your Power and Set Yourself Free

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About the Author

Alexandra Elle is a writer, wellness educator, and certified Breathwork coach. Her work has been featured by a wide range of media outlines, including the New York Times, NPR, Good Morning America, ABC News, Essence, The Cut, MindBodyGreen, Bet, and Forbes, among many others. She teaches workshops and leads retreats centered around writing and self-care, and was host of the popular hey, girl podcast. She is the author of several books and journals, including, most recently, After the Rain and the In Courage Journal. She lives in the Washington DC metro area with her husband and three daughters.