How to Discover Your Authentic Self - at Any Age

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Introduction

The Late Bloomer's Journey to Greater LaterBevy Smith, a self-proclaimed "late bloomer" at 55, shares her journey of discovering her authentic self, proving that "it does, in fact, get greater later". Once a successful fashion advertising executive at 38, jet-setting and seemingly living a dream life, she realised she was only pretending to be happy. This moment of awakening led her to defy expectations and embark on a path less travelled, drawing inspiration from her remarkable mother, Lolly, and learning...

The Power of Not Settling

Lolly’s number one lesson, and arguably the bedrock of Bevy’s transformation, is: "don’t settle". While many equate settling with a "humdrum" job they hate, Bevy discovered that even a "well-paying, glamorous career" could be a settle if it didn’t align with her true desires. At 38, she quit her fashion advertising job with the intention that "every day be a great adventure". This meant embracing the scary parts, like being broke from the age of 40 to 45, but she...

Embodying Confidence and Embracing Age

When Bevy chose to "buck the system and go against the status quo," people often asked where she got her confidence, sometimes with "silent judgment". Her reply, inspired by Jay-Z, is simple: "She get it from her mama". Her mother, Lolly, is the "epitome of a grown-ass woman". Lolly was always "comfortable in her skin", even keeping her maiden name after marriage in 1965 and continuing to work because she "refused to be beholden" to her husband for money. She...

Living Rooted in the Present

Thanks to her mother’s guidance, Bevy’s story isn’t about settling. She takes "each day as it comes" and strives to make it "better than the last". This commitment to not settling means she’s "firmly rooted in the present". As an entrepreneur, she maintains "multiple revenue streams," and as a solo traveler, she’s explored "six continents". This approach means she doesn’t “second-guess" her decisions and isn’t "worried about [her] future". The only reason she wants to be kept up all night...

Overcoming 'Bitchy Bevy' and Extending Grace

Bevy openly admits she was a "late bloomer in all regards," even having to learn lessons from her "Bitchy Bevy" era, characterised by a "toxic attitude" and employing "10 assistants in five years". Initially happy in fashion, she began to compare her trajectory to others and felt "burned out" by personas she created to "progress in [her] career". She thought "being snarky was a good career move" – it wasn't.Even after evolving, insecurities reappeared, prompting her to devise a "self-help...

Unearthing 'Little Brown Bevy': Your Authentic Self

Bevy believes in the adage, "To thine own self be true," asserting that "nobody can be you but you". However, she highlights a crucial quandary: "What if you don’t really know who you are because you suppressed your inner self?". To "excavate" her true self, "Little Brown Bevy," she asked herself three pivotal questions:Who am I at my core? Bevy’s core is about "authentically connecting with people," being "curious and adventurous," "kind," and having "big dreams".How am I being perceived?...

Summary

Bevy marvels that "Little Brown Bevy" from Harlem is now an award-winning radio and TV host, an author, an actress, a creative consultant. She’s in her "Mama I made it" moment, showing up as her "most Bevyest self" because she’s "done the work". This means she’s "vibrant and boisterous," and a "tell-it-like-it-is approach to life that’s always dosed with a ladle of love".It took her 55 years to get here, making Chris Rock’s "late bloomer" comment accurate, but Bevy embraces...

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About the Author

Beverly "Bevy" Smith is an American television personality and business woman. She is best known for her work as a co-host on Bravo's fashion-themed talk show Fashion Queens. Smith is the creator of "Dinner with Bevy", a dinner party series in which she brings together people from across entertainment, fashion and media.