Nicole LePera opens her heart to us right from page one, and she does it in the most refreshingly honest way. As the creator of the #selfhealers movement and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller "How to Do the Work," she brings her professional expertise as a clinical psychologist to the table.Let's talk about why this book exists in the first place. LePera noticed something fascinating during her decade as a clinical psychologist - despite reading countless relationship...
The Hidden Blueprint
Very often the issue with your relationship isn’t just your spouse (even if you feel that may be the case) - it’s you! And it could be due to your relationships in childhood.See, our earliest relationships aren't just memories - they're actually the blueprint for how we connect with others throughout our lives. Here's where it gets scientific, but stay with us. Our brain develops most of its relationship patterns when we're young - we're talking about millions of neural...
Your Body's Language
The path to authentic relationships begins with an unexpected starting point - your physical body. For those who are new to self-discovery, let us tell you why this matters so much.Your body isn't some robotic vehicle carrying your brain around; you need to take care of it. The science shows us it is the physical sensations you feel which actually create your thoughts and emotions, not the other way around. Meaning, when you're dehydrated, undernourished, or running on four hours...
Understanding Mind Consciousness
Know who else was wondering why their relationships keep hitting the same walls, despite their best efforts? Trevor! A successful, attractive man who seemed to have it all - except lasting love. His story opens up a fascinating window into how our minds can become our biggest relationship saboteurs.An ego is our sense of self-identity and we're all walking around with what psychologists call "ego stories" - these sneaky mental narratives that color how we see ourselves and others. Think...
The Science and Soul Behind Our Heart
Let's talk about something fascinating that most of us have heard about but rarely understand: following our heart. While we nod along when someone tells us to "follow our heart," the truth is many of us are actually following our thoughts instead. We're constantly in our heads, analyzing, overthinking, and making decisions based on what we think is logical - even when those decisions aren't really serving us well.This follow your heart isn't just poetic talk - it's backed by...
Transform Relationships Through Co-Regulation
Let's wrap this up with Alex and Luke’ story - a couple who perfectly demonstrate how our bodies influence our relationships. For four years, every time Alex brought up something about important about their future lives, Luke would suddenly find a fascinating email to check or remember an urgent text to send. Classic avoidance, right? But here's where it gets practical for you: Alex had developed her Body, Mind, and Heart Awareness.Alex learned to notice her physical stress signals during...
Summary
So there you have it! This unified approach is how you take your relationships from one of triggering stress responses to one of mutual understanding and support. It's time you move from a cycle of push-pull to a dance of conscious connection, because lasting change comes not from changing the other, but from integrating awareness at all levels while learning to regulate together.
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About the Author
Dr. Nicole LePera was trained in clinical psychology at Cornell University and The New School for Social Research and also studied at the Philadelphia School of Psychoanalysis. As a clinical psychologist in private practice, Dr. Nicole found herself frustrated by the limitations of traditional psychotherapy. Wanting more for her patients—and for herself—she began a journey to create a unified philosophy of mental, physical and spiritual health that equips people with the tools to heal themselves.
More on: www.harpercollins.com/blogs/authors/dr-nicole-lepera
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