.png){kind=icon}
Foreword
In a world that often demands relentless productivity and unyielding positivity, The When You’re Feeling Down Book by Subandi Kamis offers a much-needed alternative: permission to slow down, to breathe, and to navigate life’s challenges with gentleness. This book is a deeply reflective, profoundly personal, and yet universally relatable guide to overcoming the stagnation that often accompanies difficult times. Subandi skillfully weaves together mindfulness, personal narrative, and philosophical wisdom, creating a guide that is neither clinical nor didactic. Instead, it...
The Doldrums: Prologue
I am reminded of the doldrums - a nautical term originally used by sailors in the 18th and 19th centuries that refer to the calm, windless regions near the equator, where sailboats, dependent on the wind, could become stranded for weeks. Without momentum, these ships would drift aimlessly, their crews left waiting, hoping for even the faintest breeze to push them forward. The doldrums were more than just a test of patience; they were a test of endurance and perseverance,...
When You Don’t Feel Like Waking Up - 1
The day feels daunting. Your eyes are still closed, but the weight of the morning presses against you, and you can hear the rain tapping softly at your window like a reminder of the grayness outside. You open your eyes. You can see through the window the sky is thick with clouds, heavy and unmoving, casting everything in a dull, muted light. It feels easier to stay where you are, wrapped in the stillness, untouched by the world.You want to...
Begin The Day - 2
Let’s move. The space between where you are and where you need to be feels vast, very far away - stretching endlessly. But don’t worry. You do not need to conquer the day all at once. You only need to begin.So start small.Sit up, even if it feels like the weight of sleep still clings to your bones. Swing your legs over the side of the bed and plant your feet on the floor. Feel the ground beneath you. It...
A Gentle Shift into the Day - 3
At this time of the day, you don’t have to be rushed to make your plans. Let me repeat and rephrase that - you don’t have to make your plans right now. There’s no need for a list, no need to map out every hour, no need to push yourself into something that feels heavy.Instead, just ask yourself one question:‘What would make today feel a little bit easier?’Not everything. Not the whole day. Just one small thing.Maybe it’s stepping outside...
The Simplicity of Walking - 4
If you feel like stepping outside, go for a short walk. Not with an end goal, not with urgency, not to be productive -but simply to move, to feel, to reconnect with the world beyond your thoughts. Step forward, not because you must, but because your body deserves the rhythm of motion, your lungs deserve fresh air, and your mind deserves to be reminded that there is more to existence than what weighs on you.Let your walk be effortless. No...
A Gentle Guide to Painting - 5
When the world feels heavy and your thoughts seem tangled, pick up a brush, a pen, a pencil or even your fingertips. You don’t need skill. You don’t need a plan. You only need to begin.Look at the colors before you. Don’t overthink - let your emotions choose for you. If you feel calm, maybe a soft blue or gentle green speaks to you. If you feel restless, perhaps bold red or deep purple feels right. There is no wrong...
The Art of Washing Dishes - 6
When the world feels overwhelming, even the smallest tasks can seem impossible. But house cleaning - simple, repetitive, grounding - can be more than just tidying up. It can be a quiet act of self-care, a reminder that even in small ways, you have control, you have movement, you have the ability to create order where there was once disorder.Start small. There’s no rush. No expectation of speed or efficiency. Just one action at a time. Allow yourself to arrive...
Gently Prepare your Food - 7
When you’re feeling down and not feeling well - physically or emotionally - eating can feel like a task, an obligation, something distant from your needs. But food is more than just fuel; it is warmth, it is comfort, it is care. Preparing a simple meal is not about perfection or complexity - it is about offering your body something kind, something easy, something that says, ‘I am taking care of you.’ If the thought of cooking feels overwhelming, start...
When Your Energy Ebbs in the Afternoon - 8
The afternoon is always different than the morning. You feel it in your body, in your thoughts, in the quiet slowing of everything around you. The sharpness of the morning fades, and in its place, a kind of heaviness lingers. Maybe you feel restless, unable to focus. Maybe you feel tired, as though the day is already asking too much of you. Or maybe it’s simply a quiet stillness, one that feels neither good nor bad, just there.This part of...
The Bend in the Trail. - 9
I had been hiking down the trail with my friends for almost 30 minutes. My objective - a raised platform at the edge of the hill that provided a grand view of the Great Smoky Mountains, at the border of North Carolina and Tennessee.Some interesting facts : the Great Smoky Mountains make up the subrange that forms part of the Appalachians Mountains - an ancient and majestic range in the United States. The Appalachians stretch across the eastern North America...
The Beauty of Imperfection - 10
There is beauty in things that are not perfect. You may not always notice it at first, because so much of the world tells you to seek something that is polished, flawless, complete. But perfection is an illusion - one that often leaves you feeling like you are always falling short, like something is always missing, incomplete. What if, instead of chasing perfection, you learned to embrace things as they are? What if, in the cracks, in the uneven edges,...
Cooling the Fire of Anger - 11
Anger arrives suddenly - a spark, a flare, a fire that surges through you before you even have the chance to catch your breath. It can feel all-consuming, overriding, tightening your chest, tensing your muscles, quickening your pulse. Your mind races, your words sharpen, your hands clench. Maybe someone has wronged you. Maybe something has gone terribly unfair. Maybe it’s frustration - built up over time, now bursting through the seams of your patience.There have been many definitions of anger...
Loss and the Bottles of Sand - 12
Port Dickson - Ma’amoriah my grandaunt told me one day in her dining room. ‘I got that from Port Dickson.’ Nechee as I called her was showing me her collection of tiny bottles - each of them filled with sand and testimony to the beaches that she had visited over the years. The one she was referring to came from the Malaysian beach of Port Dickson.I examined the treasures that were presented before me - glass bottles with stoppers, each...
Lagom and Ikigai - 13
The door of the house opened and an elderly European man smiled at me. I was slightly taken aback, as Lars - for that was the gentleman’s name - was dressed in the traditional Bruneian sarong of kain pelikat and shirt. I had expected a more European attire, but this was Brunei, and Lars was married to a Bruneian.We went into his living room, and talked over tea and pastries about his history - his home country of Sweden, his...
Patience and Strength - 14
A few years ago, our son Akmal - then 12, complained of muscle and joint problems. He had trouble walking, moving and breathing and had to be hospitalised. His joints were also dislocating with an alarming regularity. We struggled to get a clearer diagnosis, unable to get a name for his condition. He missed months of school. My wife Mona contemplated quitting work to take care of him. Hospital floors became my bed and office as I fired off my...
Transitions : A Day of Change and Perspective - 15
The day had started dimly, the sun yet to rise, its absence making the December morning feel even colder. The air carried a crisp, wintry stillness, a quiet invitation to return to the warmth of bed, to delay movement, to surrender to comfort. But instead, I pushed myself up, resisting the pull of inertia. There was something about the early morning - the solitude of it, the purity of the air - that I knew would make the effort worthwhile.Stepping...
Sleep : Winding Down for the Night - 16
We’re almost at the end of the book. And this section of the book corresponds to the end of a day. If you are reading this at the end of your day, let’s go over a few things : the day is ending. Whatever has happened, whatever words were spoken, whatever moments passed—good or not so good—they are now behind you. The evening air settles around you, softening the sharpness of the day. The world is slowing, and so can...
The Return: Epilogue
The sea had been still for days. Aye, it was—a cruel, unbroken calm that stretched across the horizon, where the sky and ocean met in a haze of stillness. The doldrums had seized the wind, leaving the Galapagos adrift—her sails lifeless, her crew restless.It was a waiting game—one that tested patience and spirit in equal measure, and stretching both to their limits. The men, seasoned by years at sea, had kept busy. The deck was scrubbed, the rigging checked and...
