Raising kids ain't easy. And modern parenting is a whole minefield! How do you keep your little munchkins safe online and set good limits? How do you instill empathy, but also teach them to stand up for themselves? How to win enough of their trust so they'll listen, not rebel? Parenting piles up worries that can eat you alive! Forget about the viral videos, it’s time we take lessons from research and lived experiences. Parents! Let's not focus only on...
Do Not Blindly Copy Your Parents' Parenting Style
There’s no user manual for parenting! Most new parents just follow the parenting behavior of their own parents. But is it fine to blindly emulate your parents' parenting style? Well, if your childhood was happy and secure, you might think, "Yes, of course!" But what about people who experience a traumatic childhood? Who do they follow? Well, they need to learn from their parent's mistakes and avoid repeating bad parenting behaviors. In a way, they know what NOT to do!...
Teach Trust, Not Fear!
In case of an emergency, do you leave your children with your neighbors? When your kid goes to summer camp, do you call every night to make sure everything's okay? When your kid makes a new friend, do you grill them about that friend's family and values? Come on now, why don't we just say it: we don't really trust anybody now, do we? The author has some statistics that prove most Americans are facing a trust-deficit situation today. The 2018...
Respect Your Child's Choices And Independence
We all reach our destinations ultimately, so a little detour is not always a bad thing! So, allow your child the freedom to make their own choices - even if they don't align with your preferences. Those little side trips can teach them a lot for the journey ahead. Wojcicki shares another personal experience, this time with her daughter Anne. Right after finishing college, Anne suddenly announced she was going to work as a babysitter. While any others might get a...
Success is guaranteed if you develop a healthy attitude towards failure.
Success takes time! And success demands strength. We all gotta deal with setbacks and failures along the way. But how you handle those screw-ups is crucial. So, developing a healthy attitude towards failures is a must for the new gen. Take the story of Gady. Gady wrote brilliant articles for his high school newspaper. However, Gady did not get to be the editor-in-chief. He did not mind and kept on writing excellent articles for the newspaper while helping others. And...
Successful Parenting is Built on Collaboration
Listen, proper parenting is about balance. Sometimes we just want our kids to do what they're told, no questions asked! But going full dictator on your children like that will not work. Kids need guidance and boundaries, no doubt about it. But super rigid, controlling parenting breeds insecurity and acting out. Not what you were going for!So, here's the truth: getting kids to cooperate requires empathy. Diana Baumrind nailed this point with her research on parenting styles. She found that...
Teach Your Children To Prioritize Kindness Over Personal Ambition.
Amy Chua is a highly influential figure when it comes to parenting philosophies. In her book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, she glorifies the hardcore achievement-driven way she was brought up. She is totally blunt that in her family, being kind or happy was never a priority. All that counted was churning out over-competitive kids who'd crush the competition. Sadly, Chua's priorities seem to reflect a broader parenting trend - ‘helicopter parenting!’Helicopter parents ‘hover’ over their children all the time....
The Habit Of Gratitude Makes Children Happier
Isn't it funny how when we become parents, we suddenly realize just how much our own parents did for us? Becoming a parent yourself shifts your perspective and makes you see just how much you have to be grateful for from your own childhood, even if it wasn't perfect. Now we have the chance to pass that gift of nurturing forward with our own kids. Teaching children to be aware of all that they have, and to thank the people...
Chapter 10
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Summary
Modern parenting style is devastating for children and society. Nothing comes out of an achievement-based parenting style. Today’s parents need to reassess their parenting style and avoid blindly following their parents’ toxic behaviors at all costs. Parents should try to focus on honing children's decision-making abilities and independent thinking to ensure a happy and successful path in the future. We as a society need to foster the spirit of kindness, independence, and trust in our children - our future!
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About the Author
Esther Wojcicki, Distinguished Visiting Scholar at MediaX at Stanford, is the founder of the Palo Alto High School Media Arts Program that focuses on empowering students through the use of media (newspaper, magazine, yearbook, websites, video production, photography, radio, & television). The program started in 1984 with an already established (1918) 6 -8 page newspaper and 19 students; it has become the largest media program in the nation with 600+ students and a new 25,000 sq. ft Media Arts Center. She is a 2009 MacArthur Foundation Research Fellow for the Student Journalism 2.0; the 2002 California Teacher of the Year by the California Commission on Teacher Credentialing; the 2011 Charles O'Malley Award recipient from Columbia Scholastic Press. She was awarded an honorary doctorate from Palo Alto University (2013) and has been a speaker at multiple TEDx events.
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